All men know that women are terrible at the communication. We see it every day in the form of women dressing like blatant prostitutes when they claim to be the exact opposite — not prostitutes.

That’s bad communicating.

We also see it when we see women screaming like frantic savages in the workplace or in the home after they screw something up. While they’re tearing their hair out and trying to stretch their nostrils as wide as their eyes and their eyes as wide as their mouths and their mouths as wide as a toilet, what they’re actually trying to say is this:

“I’m sorry. You’re actually totally right. How could I have possibly fucked up this badly again?”

The answer is simple elementary, my dear. You’re a woman.

Like usual, I have proof for all of these things. And here it is.

A study conducted by MSN Search (a popular web searching engine of some kind) shows that men on average devote only three minutes for each of the 42 searches on the internet that they do per week. Women, on the other hand, spend five whole fucking minutes on each of their 30 searches. There’s a link to this study at the bottom of this article, but I obviously wouldn’t make something like this up, and even if I did, it’s still obviously true.

Men can sit down, evaluate their thoughts, and express them in such a concise way that even a fucking computer can understand what they’re looking for. That’s how fantastic and mantastic men are at communicating what they’re thinking. They’re so good at it they can do way more searching than women too. And that means more learning — be it about the political climate, ways to become active in the community or things of a nature pornographiqué.

Women, on the other hand, type all kinds of retarded shit into Google. And they take their sweet time doing it! If a woman is looking for places to buy a discount handbag (which she wouldn’t because the nature of womanly things are exactly the opposite) she might type in the phrase.

“Near where I buy my Starbucks”

And that’s after thinking about it for five fucking minutes. Trust me. I’ve seen the stats. They’re not pretty.

I’ve tried communicating with women for many years. For best results I advise a good set of Colorforms and a puppet of Oprah Winfrey. Your results may vary.

Read about women confusing the shit out of search engines.

This entry was posted under Science Says....