Women can’t hang picture frames for shit. One time, I was watching a woman hang a picture and she completely dropped it. The whole thing shattered and got glass everywhere.

Nice work, lady.

Men are better than women.

Women have no idea how hard it is to have sex with them. If they did, they’d show a little more gratitude and respect. Gratitude means me not having to subtly ask for a bowl of cereal afterwards, and then specifically ask for a bowl of cereal after that. A grateful woman has the shit in the refrigerator ready to go for later, before the romance has even started.

But not too early because then it would get soggy. It’s best to make a new one every 30 minutes.

But not obviously. That looks desperate.

Go hang a picture right now and tell me you’re not using the same manjo to get that fucking wire on that impressively masculine nail that you are when you’re pleasuring a lovely lady. Just look at the face you’re making! I’m not going to spell it out any more than that. I’ll just say that it’s easy to stick a key in a lock when it’s noon, but in the middle of the night when your porch light is broken, it’s more difficult.

Women are lousy at sex.

One time (a different time to the one I was talking about earlier), I watched one of these “lesbian” strap-on pornos. Talk about clumsy and embarrassing! These broads had a 50 stroke handicap.

That was the manliest joke that has ever been made.

“Lesbians” + Golf + Sex = The Manliest Joke Ever Told

This entry was posted under Doings and Dealings.