There’s a myth that’s been around for as long as women.

“Women can’t stand cheaters.”

Oh brother. If there’s one thing I know about women it’s that they always say the opposite of what they mean. If they tell you they’re not big eaters, bring your fucking Diners Club Card and a packet of crisps. If they tell you to roll the windows up, it means they want you to ignore them completely.

They also love cheaters.

There’s a slew of donkey shit websites popping up recently that all blow the same horn:

Let’s team up and put an end to cheating in our time, girls! Well not cheating because women do it more anyway, but definitely us getting cheated on by guys!

And how do they propose that you ask? By using technology.

Yes, you heard right. Women think they are going to fix something by using technology. I don’t know which part of that I find most laughable. I can just sit here and think of all the different absurdities and keep myself in stitches. Women are going to fix something? Women are going to use technology? Women don’t want to be cheated on? What a lark!

If women didn’t want to be cheated on, why would they act like raving bitches? They’re asking you to cheat on them. It’s like throwing a television set down the stairs. Why would you do that unless you wanted it to be broken?

The theory of it is women will submit the name and offense of their cheating boyfriend to a database and then other potential daters of this man will find his evil-doings on their shit-together, Coloform looking website and opt out of the deal. Yes, it is an interesting idea that men already invented when they created credit. Honestly, I see only one problem with the whole thing.

Women are fucking stupid.

This part of the article is for the ladies. Women are still not allowed anywhere near here, but all men should relay the message to them. Or don’t. I don’t really give a fuck anyway because women avoid good advice like the plague.

The above concept already exists in a much better form than some jackass website run by jackass idiots. It’s called: your fucking eyeballs. If a guy gives you herpes and then beats you across the face with a belt and you see it with your eyeballs, it’s safe to assume that you shouldn’t be dating him. Once women master that they can start setting up cute little websites with rinky dink, shit mottos and disingenuous, kiss-ass authors who just want to sell a bunch of T-shirts. Until then, why don’t you stick to the fucking fundamentals, ladies. Use your goddamn eyes for something other than painting on instead of the hive-mind authority of some stupid broads you’ve never met and are going to assume are lying or deserved it anyway.

“He must have cheated because she didn’t know how to please her man.”

Right. Women love cheaters. That’s the bottom line. It awakens a competitive spirit the likes of which no man has ever had. A competitive spirit that behaves like a parasite and sucks the host dry for the cost of winning some bullshit blue ribbon that kicks the crap out of you.

Wait a minute. That’s not competitiveness. It’s dumbness.

Read about the Eyeballs!
Man Hall of Fame
Another Round of Bullshit

This entry was posted under Myths and Lores.