Women are the fucking cheapest things on Earth and not a one of them has ever given a dime to any charity ever.

Don’t believe me? Well you should because I haven’t been wrong on one of these things yet and I never will be. That’s what happens when you pick a platform like men are better than women at everything. You can never be wrong because wherever you step there’s a solid foundation of logic and science to walk on. It’s like waltzing around town in golf cleats.

I just stepped in shit? No problem. See, I’m wearing these golf cleats. I don’t even know it happened. [Read more]

There are a handful of questions you can ask any woman to get her to start talking about “deep personal things”. And by the end of her monologue she’ll be in love with you. Women are like outboard motors of sex. No matter how long they’ve been sitting, you just have to give them a few good yanks in the form of “deep personal questions” and they’ll be purring like an arthritic cat in no time.

Or are women more like used cars?

Has it ever been in a wreck? Do you offer a warranty? Are these all original parts?

With women, magic question number three is, “who was your favorite or most inspirational grade school teacher?” [Read more]

The greatest man day of them all is upon us. And that would be St. Patrick’s Day.

For those of you who don’t know what Saint Patrick’s Day is, fuck off my site because you’re obviously a woman and don’t belong here anyway. [Read more]

When it comes to Guerrilla marketing, women are donkeys. Marketing in general is about selling something that doesn’t sell itself — namely anything that isn’t boobs. Since men invented it, it’s perfectly natural and to be expected that we’re millions of times better than women at it. That’s just common sense.

Wasn’t there a Tyra Banks show where that dim-witted bean pole dressed up in a fat suit and everyone was a dick to her? I don’t know because I don’t watch that female-type show and I certainly don’t want to hear if I’m right about it. I know I’m right. I’m a man and it’s part of my manhood to predict women and their endless parade of groundhog bullshit. Look here comes another float or a truck covered in posies! What a fucking surprise! [Read more]

Did you know that a staggering 7% of the top grossing 200 films of 2005 were directed by women? I was shocked as well, but then I remembered that on a slow weekend in summer when it’s hot outside just about everywhere on Earth, even seeing a miserable piece of woman-directed shit is better than sitting around and listening to the house-marm gab about nothing.

Perhaps we’re the lucky men. Perhaps someday women will forget their manners even during film and theatres will sound like hair salons or bird sanctuaries. Then again maybe that kind of shit will actually lower the price of a ticket.

That’s a man for you: always looking on the bright side. [Read more]

Myself and every other man on Earth have been saying it for years: alimony is fucked — and it’s extremely sexist.

But wait, what about this?

Did you know you’re liable for child support if you knock some slut up who lies about being on the pill and then doesn’t want to have an abortion because of some ridiculous shit like she suddenly has “principles” or because her mother didn’t abort her? Well you are liable for that cash cow and it’s the biggest croc of shit and injustice that could ever be imagined. [Read more]

Women have no fear of anything.

They have no fear of any shit breaking because some man will always fix it in a charming attempt to fuck them — which usually works. They have no fear of losing their jobs because they don’t ever support themselves anyway. Women are like shrieking monkeys jumping like silly jackasses from tree to tree in a forest of men with big burly arms and deep pockets.

Women especially have no fear of saying or doing anything stupid. You really want to do something for women? Next time you hear one acting stupid, just knock the shit out of her. [Read more]

There’s a little court in America called the Supreme Court. For the most part, it is taken quite seriously. If courts were road construction, then the Supreme Court would be a collapsed freeway on top of a volcano. In other words, if you fuck up at the SC, then you’re fucked, pal. Unless you have some pull with God Himself, you just got busted for tacit collusion, plagiarism, or kiddie porn — whatever’s your poison, and now you are taking your man-ass to prison.

A recent trend in America has been to get women the fuck off this Supreme of Courts. That is because women have donkey brains and the attention span of mud. It’s also because women fall asleep during court. [Read more]