There are a lot of things that are exactly like life. Actually most things are like life. That’s why men are such good poets and musicians. We make comparisons between things and life as I have just done. It’s called being creative.

Boardgames are also like life. And guess what, women suck at them. [Read more]

Going bald is like the man-menopause of being a man. So long as “increased chance of osteoporosis” actually means “increased chance of bagging a hot babe with your brand new, red, sports convertible.

Babes love bald because it’s manly. Here are my top ten reasons why. [Read more]

Young, female-type drivers have lower insurance premiums all over Earth. Even in ancient times, this was true.

What is not true, however, is that young women are better drivers than young men. The truth is exactly the opposite. Young men are better drivers than women.

Don’t believe me? Then you’re probably a woman and you should just use all the money you save on your car insurance to buy a fucking clue.

Man Points. [Read more]

Guns are awesome. In fact, a gun is the manliest thing there is.

I take that back. The manliest thing there is would be a hot car or some kind of super motorcycle with guns attached to it. In that case, it’s a case of chicken and egg. Is the car manlier because of the guns or are the guns manlier because of the car? What about a tank? Where does it play into this manly game?

Wherever the fuck it wants. It’s a tank. [Read more]

Do you know what it is to be a man? Being a man is getting out of your car, looking at your fucked up parking job, and then getting back in your car and parking it correctly.

Being a woman is what I saw about ten minutes ago. It’s pulling up to the curb like a drunken teenager, mashing your tire against the concrete like you’re humping a doorknob, and then getting out of your car whilst on a cell phone and letting someone else deal with the whole shit.

By someone else, I mean ‘some man’, who is more than likely going to have to pay for that tire when it blows the fuck up. [Read more]

If you pay attention to the news like a man does — and I know you do because you’re a man, then you’ve heard about the case of poor Anthony Stockelman.

Stockelman is serving a life sentence in Indiana, America for the molestation and murder of a 10 year old girl.

I can only imagine what would have become of him in a prison of women. He probably would have been taught how to knit or how to believe in Tantric yoga or some other bullshit where women just run their fucking mouths for hours on end and then give themselves a medal when they’re done. Stockelman was in a man’s prison though, so he was beaten and tattooed across the forehead with the words KATIE’S REVENGE.

It’s the kind of thing that makes you proud to be a man. [Read more]

I hear this question all the time; never directed at myself, but while hearing shrill she-devils screech and harp on their man-friends while standing in line for the cinema or the man-theater or a meat restaurant.

“Were you checking out that girl?”

I carry around a special stash of Man Points for the first man to answer it correctly. I haven’t given them out yet, so if you see me hanging about the correct answer is:

“Yes.” [Read more]

Men are better than women at anything that goes on inside a house or anywhere. That includes making food and speaking about something worth a shit.

That also includes showering. Men are better than women at showering. [Read more]