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Valentine’s Day is the natural extension of a sickness that has befouled the female race since the beginning of time. That sickness is called gimmie-ism: an insatiable hunger for free shit no matter what the context. If a woman sees it, she wants it and she doesn’t care how she gets it.

That’s why men wear neckties. They’re a subtle, visual reminder of The Penis.

Women are like zombies with romantic knick-knacks and other sentimental trash. Zombie pigs. No matter what the reason for it is, if it reeks of love and it’s in front of her, a woman will consume it with a maximum of grunting and moaning. Enter Valentine’s Day; a day that appeals to anyone who appreciates a gift given out of obligation and resent.

No woman would be as happy with the same gifts given on February 15th. Whatever percentage of happiness is lost is the exact percentage of “cunt” that woman is.

Fuck the “spirit of giving”. A woman would appreciate a gift pried out of your cold, dead hands. A woman would appreciate a gift pried out of the cold, dead hands of the child who mined it and mounted it on a ring. A woman would feel special at a wedding even if she was pregnant.

Every time you see a woman at a bar without a drink, know that she’s got a rampant case of gimmie-ism. She’ll die of thirst if someone doesn’t pay the requisite 10.50 plus tip for a chance to brush against one of her tits.

Enjoy these man Valentine’s Day cards and remember that Valentine’s Day is on Wednesday February 14th.

As a man, I like to start things off right and in a hurry. That means three things:

1. Make things manlier — which I’ve done by challenging you all to my 2008 Man Challenge. I’ve already completed four out of five. Better dust your balls off and get to work.
2. Watch out for any bullshit on the horizon.
3. Take it easy.

God didn’t create the universe in six days and then take it easy on the seventh. He did it in two and then took a permanent vacation. Mondays He left for men to get to work and start building civilization. Monday is the manliest day there is. That’s why women hate them.

The following are promotional posters I created to keep an eye on the biggest storm of bullshit on the horizon since the ending scene of Terminator: Hillary Clinton running for president.

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