If women could be worst at anything (and they can’t because each new thing they do or repeat doing they are the new worst at) it would be measuring. Women are so bad at it, they couldn’t measure a ruler. That’s why if you ask a woman how big some random size is, she’ll either present her forearm or point to a football field. It makes absolutely no fucking difference what you asked.

I mean, six inches is huge, but not that huge. [Read more]

Love is a silly thing and also a major loss of Man Points to discuss. I, however, am going to have to shed those Man Points today as I drop the L-bomb.

Don’t worry about my Man Points though. I gained several thousand this week by drinking a beer into which some careless, anorexic, fatass shrew had discarded a cigarette.

Then I slipped her a free MenAreBetterThanWomen.com card and my Man Points lit up like a slot machine. [Read more]

Everyone has heard stories of people who decide at the last minute not to take a flight and then the plane crashes into a train or someone brought a pipe bomb on board or something like that and everyone dies spectacularly — everyone except the person who didn’t get on the plane that is.

Those stories are all complete bullshit and every man in the world knows it. They’re like ghosts and astrology and Elvis sightings; just a bunch of lame and obtuse fabrications of non sequitur minds that allow women to live their lives according to unreliable, intangible signs that only they can see or interpret. Like Groundhog’s Day in the dark.

Did the groundhog see his shadow? Who cares, I’m pregnant!

What is not bullshit is that I will do exactly that on one condition; I will refuse to take a flight at the last minute on one condition: if a woman is flying the plane.

The reason I haven’t missed a flight yet is because there are no women pilots. [Read more]

I buy a lot of drinks for people when I go out. Strangers, people sitting at the bar, even the bar tenders themselves. It’s important to me that everyone is able to quench their thirst as quickly as possible. I’m a man and that’s in my providing nature. It’s also huge amounts of Man Points. I’ll lose a dozen for forcing my way to the front of the bar in the first place, but then I reverse gain them with a multiplier with free drinks all around. Man Points are like that. Tempestuous.

What I’ve noticed over the years is that men are quite thankful to be purchased a drink. They will engage you in friendly conversation — even if you don’t want to be engaged. Women, however, are awful and rude just like usual. When I gave it some thought, I realized that it’s not because they aren’t actually grateful for the drink. No, no. Women guzzle down their free alcohol like out of work carney’s outside of a liquor mart.

What I realized is that women show no gratitude when having drinks purchased for them because they are obsessed with sex! [Read more]

Oh yes, that’s right. That’s what I said. And I said it because it’s true. All women are cheaters.

I don’t mean this to be a provocateur or to prance around in the realm of the hypothetical like some kind of dandy. I mean, flat out, that every woman in the world is a cheater, has cheated, and is probably cheating at this very moment.

Getting a woman to cheat on her husband or significant other is not like getting a woman to go to the gym — by heaping shitloads of gifts and attention on her like a spoilt child and then ultimately getting no burn for your earn. Getting a woman to cheat is like getting a duck to eat bread crumbs or a rat to eat rubbish. All you have to do is toss it in front of their face. [Read more]

Shaving is one of the most manly things there is — so is not shaving. Actually that’s the definition of manly: the ability to do something or not do something at your own prerogative and then the decision whether or not to do it. That will work for today anyway.

You see, growing up as a man you learn that during life decisions have to be made and it’s your role as a man to make them. Who the fuck else is going to do it? A woman? Let’s not be fatuous. Women are functionally retarded.

And that’s exactly what I say when I hear a woman telling a man how he needs to shave. Are you being fatuous? She rarely is. [Read more]

I was reading an interesting book this week called “Freakonomics”. I’m a man so I try to read as much as one book a week. Women do something similar except instead of MacBeth it’s McCall’s and instead of Satre it’s Seventeen. Just like you are what you eat, you are what you read; and women are disposable trash that you can pick up in the grocery line or the street corner. Either way it’s the same price.

The book “Freakonomics” posed the interesting theory that crime took a downfall in the 90’s because of legalized abortions fifteen years earlier. That got me to thinking.

Unwanted babies cause crime? Maybe. I’ll bite on that. If that’s the case then unwanted babies are probably unplanned babies, and unplanned babies come from unprotected sex. Now who’s fault is it that people are having unprotected sex?

Women. Unprotected sex is 100% women’s fault. [Read more]

We all know that men are better than women at everything; I’ve discussed and proved many reasons why on this site. Men are stronger. Men are smarter. Men are able to put their thoughts into words in order to communicate whereas women can’t mentally hold onto anything that isn’t sparkly or fluffy.

It’s true. Men are the super adhesive man-glue that holds society together by the seat of its ass, and women are that crappy sticky strip that holds Post It notes on your computer screen. They won’t stick to anything and goddamn if you’ll ever get that strip of gummy residue off your monitor, but at least you remembered Carole’s bullshit birthday party is in the lunchroom in 5 minutes. Fantastic. [Read more]