There was a time when lawyers were not hated like vermin. Do you know what happened between then and now? Women joined the practice of law.

It’s completely true. Check your history books.

In 1970, women made up 10% of first-year law students. I suppose those were the “lesbians” of the day. Interestingly enough, lawyers weren’t hated in the 70’s. Remember Night Court? That show was full of lawyers and everyone loved it.

Today, women have bumble-fucked their way into 52 to 90% of law students and Guess what, everyone fucking hates lawyers. [Read more]

Women love attention almost as much as they love money. That’s because money and attention are the same thing. Women are simple like that. Usually things they like are always actually the same thing. In this case, you can trade both money and attention for sex. Same thing.

By extension women also love stalkers, babies, and black eyes. They’re all just heaps more attention — another shovel of shit on the compost pile of a woman’s life. Have you ever seen a group of women at a wedding having a Cry-Off? That’s what I call the game women play where they see who can get more emotional over some stupid bullshit.

It doesn’t matter who wins. What’s important is who loses. And that’s you. [Read more]

You know how you can’t bring drugs or tigers to the airport? Women should also not be allowed within a hundred yards of an airport. Here are the reasons.

Women can’t drive.
Women can’t lift shit.
Women can’t shut up.

Like usual, I think I’ve made my point. [Read more]

For men, something like herpes spells death for a thriving sex life. It spells it with three letters: S, T, and D.

Guess what venereal disease spells for women. G-O, go. As in go out and party, go hook up with a bunch of guys, and especially go have as much fun as you want, you promiscuous little whore. [Read more]

Men are more responsible than women when it comes to anything. Having unprotected sex for example; have you ever heard a woman ask the following:

Are you on the pill? Why the fuck not, you’re about to have sex?

No. First of all, women don’t think like that until it’s too late. That’s why they’re so vocal about men thinking only with their penises. It merely betrays the power of their own frantic sexual desires. That’s called hysteria and for every ten knocked up women on Earth hysteria caused nine of them.

Secondly, if there was a pill for men, every man in the world would eat them like Tic Tacs — the white Tic Tacs. Why the fuck not indeed. [Read more]

Women are the worst sports in history. Fuck. If you want to go from ‘having a great day’ to ’embarrassed for humanity’ in a fraction of a second, just pull a practical joke on a woman and get ready for a Fujiwara Force Fucking Five hissy fit. Hide the silverware before you do unless you want your face pierced.

So why can’t women take jokes as well as your money? Is it because their souls are black and cheap and make them attribute all practical jokes to spite and malice as they would have intended them on others? Is it because women have no self-esteem and assume anyone who’s laughing is laughing at them along with twenty other people who are going to hear the story later?

Nope.

It’s because women have a stick up their ass. [Read more]

Women are the fucking cheapest things on Earth and not a one of them has ever given a dime to any charity ever.

Don’t believe me? Well you should because I haven’t been wrong on one of these things yet and I never will be. That’s what happens when you pick a platform like men are better than women at everything. You can never be wrong because wherever you step there’s a solid foundation of logic and science to walk on. It’s like waltzing around town in golf cleats.

I just stepped in shit? No problem. See, I’m wearing these golf cleats. I don’t even know it happened. [Read more]

There are a handful of questions you can ask any woman to get her to start talking about “deep personal things”. And by the end of her monologue she’ll be in love with you. Women are like outboard motors of sex. No matter how long they’ve been sitting, you just have to give them a few good yanks in the form of “deep personal questions” and they’ll be purring like an arthritic cat in no time.

Or are women more like used cars?

Has it ever been in a wreck? Do you offer a warranty? Are these all original parts?

With women, magic question number three is, “who was your favorite or most inspirational grade school teacher?” [Read more]