All Posts - Men Are Better Than Women, by Dick Masterson

TERFs and Why Women Are So Fat
Tips for Gay Men on How to Avoid Gay Marriage
10 Ways Women Ruin the Gym
Dick Masterson’s 2009 Man Challenge
Woman Astronaut Kills Everyone
Chauvinists Make More Money
There is Such a Thing as Bad Head
Women Caused the Subprime Meltdown
Helping a Fattie
Bachelor Parties vs. Bachelorette Bitchfests
The MABTW Tattoo
McCain and the VPILF
Dick Responds: The Mid-Wife Crisis
Sexual Harassment: Deal With It
Female Medics Are Deadly
Olympic Fuckery
Fat Women: Stay Home!
Top Ten Reasons Marriage is Stupid
Dick’s Voicemail #17
Dick’s Voicemail #16
Dick’s Voicemail #15
Dick’s Voicemail #14
Dick’s Voicemail #13
Dick’s Voicemail #12
Whore Sells House
Dick’s Voicemail #11
Dick’s Voicemail #10
MABTW Stickers vs. Amelia Earhart
Women Take Candy From Strangers
Dick in Marcus’ Corner
Fuck You, Eco-Cunts.
What About Teachers, Nurses, and Bank Tellers?
Happy Mammorial Day!
How A Woman Solves A Problem
Marriage Is A Business
Watch Out Pedestrians! It’s Danica Patrick!
Feminism Is A Business
TMZ Agrees With Me. Why Don’t You?
Size Matters
Dick’s Voicemail #9
Dick’s Voicemail #8
Happy Birthday. I Got You A ‘Settle the Fuck Down’.
Dick’s Voicemail #7
Dick’s Voicemail #6
Dick’s Voicemail #5
Dick’s Voicemail #4
Dick’s Voice Mail #3
Dick’s Voice Mail #2
Why Women Hate Sex With Me
Greatness Comes in Inches
The Blackberry: Releasing a Woman’s Inner Bitch
Dick’s Voice Mail #1
Better Together: The Dick and Maddox Man-Pack
Dick and Jack Lalanne: Together At Last
Men Love Commitment
Girl Bands Are Shit
Child-Man in the Promised Land: Response
A Case Study in Horizontal Success
Spitzer to American Women: Lighten the Fuck Up
It’s Just Coffee. Settle the Fuck Down.
Fat Women: Stop Emailing Me
The Etymology of Chivalry
Much Ado About Passing Out After Screwing
Dating: Why?
Dating: Who?
Dating: Where?
You’re a Peein’
Breaking the Law!
The Man Billboard — For Real
Screaming At Your Wife Is Good For You
Why Do Women Have Goofy Names for Their Vagina?
Valentine’s Bullshit 2008
Motive Means Nothing; or The Church of Feelings
Internet Dating is Sick and Wrong
Boys Turn to Tech, Girls Turn to Poundcake
American Gladiators
Anyone But Hillary 2008 Campaign Posters
Dick Masterson’s 2008 Man Challenge
Lynne Spears’ Parenting Book, Chapters 1-5
Women Could Be Great…
Dick Interviewed by WebmasterRadio.fm
Dick vs. Psychologist #2
Female Pioneers In Aviation
A Woman’s Version of Self-Reliance
Want to Know What a Million Looks Like? Ask a Man.
Cheating Army Wives Deserve the Death Penalty
Sterilizing for Mother Earth
Turkey Gobblers!
Fuck Women’s Sports: Part Fucking 3
Women Hate America.
Fat Girls Are Obsessed With Marriage
All Women Are Whores
Pregnancy Does Not Imply Equality
The Dick Guide: An Incompetent Truth
Whore-o-ween: Now For Kids!
Will a Prostitute Brush Your Teeth?
Ask Dick: What is a Donkey Punch?
The 2010 Man Capsule
Not On Fire? Thank A Man.
Ask Dick: My Girlfriend is Needy
The Evolution of Stupid
Old Men Are Saviors, Cougars Are Gross
WAS…LOL
Female Oppression: More Monkey Shit
Kevin Federline: Man Hero
Science Says: Women Are Miserable
Dick’s Book Club: The Taming of the Shrew
Just Because You Suck At Math, Doesn’t Mean You’re Good At Not-Math
The World is Round, Bitch
The Middle East Has Enough Problems As It Is
The Mind Of A Woman
Ask Dick: How Many Roads Must a Man Walk Down?
Violent Acres
Why Men Aren’t “Romantic”
Female Tourette’s Syndrome: Part 2
Female Tourettes Syndrome
Miss Teen USA is Functionally Retarded
Hocus Pocus: Women Are Dumb
Ask Dick: Who Can I Fuck?
Rape!
What’s On Oxygen At 11:30PM?
Children Are Not Pinatas
Voluntary Incompetence
Personal Problems
Antidepressants Are Depressing Me
The Disney Princesses Are Whores
Women Want To Fuck Squid
Simon Says: Men Are Better Than Women
Men Are Better Than Women…In Bed
10 Reasons Why Watches Are So Manly
Women Don’t Want a Black Man in the White House
What Do You Call a Woman With Nowhere To Live?
Excuse Me, Waiter. I’ve Got A Woman in my Technology.
Luck Be A Lady Tomorrow, When I Don’t Need You
Life In A Cage
Dick’s Man Link Bonanza Contest!
Women Are Ruining Strip Clubs: Part 2
Women are Ruining Strip Clubs: Part 1
Dick’s Die Hard 4 Review
The Manliest Joke Ever Told
Manservation
Broken Glass, Broken Ass
Feelings Kill
Terrorism!
Ask Dick: Who’s The Manlier Role Model?
Win $50 During Female Literacy Month
Men Are Better In Bulk
American MANdol (Idol)
Men Won The 70’s
Cutting
Multi-Task? Don’t Make Me Multi-Laugh — Or Multi-Shit.
Mother’s Day: Big Whoop
The World’s Manliest Martini
Women Ruining Television
Vaginas Might Be Causing Global Warming
Columbo Is Better Than Murder She Wrote
How Is a “Lesbian” Like A Walrus?
MADD Can Go And Fuck Themselves
Alec Baldwin: Father of the Year
Women Still Suck At Computers
Fuck Women’s Sports: Part Fucking Two
Dick Goes To The Colbert Report
Women Invented Taxes: Part 2
Women Invented Taxes: Part 1
Women’s Blogs = Logs
Women Are The Special Olympics
Ask Dick: How Manly Was The Apollo 11 Mission?
Ask Dick: Has Feminism Affected Anything?
Ask Dick: Why is Prostitution Illegal?
The 300 Is Twice As Sensitive As I Am
The 300 And Dead As a Man Nail
The 300 And When Women Evolved Mouths
Ask Dick: Why Do Women Hate Porn?
Coach Was Filmed Before A Man Studio Audience
Ask Dick: Why Are Teenage Girls So Fucking Stupid?
Cocksucking Doesn’t Belong on a Resume
Women: Not As Dumb As They Act
Women Caused the War in Iraq
Double and a Half Jeopardy
Women Admit Defeat
Tennis Says Women Are Whores
Date Rape is a Myth
Women With Male Friends Are Delusional
Women Ruined Valentine’s Day
Let’s Talk Extended Warranty
One Small Step For A Woman. One Giant Leap Backwards for Womankind.
Myth: Men Never Break Up With Women
Sit? How High?
I’m Keeping My What With You?
What Do the Superbowl, Boxing, and Wrestling Have in Common?
Why Women Can’t Drive: Part 4?
Leave a Message After the Beep…Not a Fucking Monologue
Ask Dick: What’s The Deal With Transexuals?
Ask Dick: Should Women Be In the Marines?
Women: Homewreckers From Birth
Olympic Grilling in 2008
The Greatest Mother in America
Women Drink Wine Stupidly
All Women Are Worse Than Rapists
Women’s Vaginas Are Puke City
News Flash! Men Have Testicles!
Why Can’t Women Hook Up a VCR?
Shitting Is Awesome
No Fat Chicks
Florence Nightingale Was A Neurotic Pain in the Ass
Why Women Hate Sex: Part 3
Be Afraid of the Dentist. Be Very Afraid
Women Have Lead For Brains
Lesbians Are Faking It
Childbirth is Not a Big Deal
I Just Repealed the 19th Amendment
Who’s Afraid of the Manliest Man
Nicolas Cage – Lord of Men
Manly Man Men: Stephen Colbert
Steve Wynn – Man Hero
Miracle Cure for ED
Women Suck At Boardgames
Dick’s Top Ten Reasons Going Bald is Manly
Young Women Drivers are Still Women
All Women Hate Guns
Parking. Fuck Off.
Katie’s Revenge? Or Man Revenge
There’s Nothing to Wrong Except Wrong Itself
Rubber Ducky, Fuck You’re Slow
Use It Or Lose It — No Women In College
Yoga Is For Sluts
Dick’s Week of Honorary Men: Part 1
Women Feel Sorry For Lamps and Old Chairs and Shit
A Woman CTO? How About CT-No?
Women Hate Babies
Germain Greer is a Cunt (And a Whore) Part II
Germaine Greer is a Cunt
How Do I Deal With a Vegetarian?
Top Ten Reasons Men Are Better Than Women
All Women Are Whores Part III
The Missing Hen House Entrance
Men Are Man-Prettier Than Women
NOW Is Useless (And Fucking Old)
Fuck Marriage
Women Are eStupid
Women Know One Color. And It Looks Shitty On Them.
It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s…Invisible to Women!
Women Ruined Mel Gibson
Women Nurses Are Gross
Mommy Rage?
A Woman’s Shelf Life Is Not 30
Women Hate Boobs
Oprah Knows Shit About Shit
Expect the Unexpected…ly Stupid
Michelle Wie Is a Big Quitter Cry-Baby
When Women Should Shut the Fuck Up
Women Think Evolution And Eugenics Are the Same
Either Shut Up or Don’t — But Please Do
Women Stop Learning in 8th Grade
Britney Spears: Not Just Jailbat Anymore (Apparently)
Why Do Women Make Shitty Musicians?
Presto, Chango! Women Are Shitty Magicians
Women Are Killing Mankind
Measuring Up…Women Still Don’t
Women Are All White Power
Why Women Hate Sex: Part 2
But It Happened to Me! Who Fucking Cares?
Women’s Stories Have No Fucking Point
Women Are a Passport to Trouble
Are Those Catepillars on Your Face or Crayon?
Female Mosquitoes and Female Women are the Same
Never Ever Ever Ever Hire a Female Attorney
Manginas Are My Hero
If History is a Stage, Women are the Gum Under your Seat.
Heather Mills McCartney is a One-Legged Bitch
The Longest (And Most Annoying) Yard
The Heart of Darkness Should Have Been Called Golden Girls
Women are the Spleen of Civilization
More Fun With Prison — and Tyra Banks
The Institution of Marriage — Prison Style
An Evening With Dick: Part 1
Women Comment Here Because They Want to Fuck Me.
Truth in Manvertising
The Wife Contract. Absolute Perfection
The Sisterhood of Dumbness
MySpace is Full of Sluts and Whores
Maniversary Origins
But What’s the Alternative? Shipping Women Around in Crates?
More on Spelling — and Also Chlamydia.
Ignorance Is Not Cute
Women are a Drag, Man. Drag Man?
Rock the Vote, Don’t Tip the Vote Over
The Dating Blacklist and Other Stupid Ideas
Manstory 101
Caught Red Dildo’ed
Why Does My Mother Wear Army Boots?
Drunk Man Driving
Happy April Bitch’s Day!
Fuck Women’s Sports: Part Fucking I
Anorexia? Manorexia
Women Feel Sorry For Rapists
Women are Tight Asses
Can You Teach Useless?
Dick O’Masterson
30 Feet of Awesome — The MABTW Billboard
30 Feet of Stupid
Three Times the Lady, Once Times the Whore
Want to Help Women? Punch One in the Face
Justice is Blind — and Sleeping
The Umbrella of Dumbness
Women Suck Twice As Hard At Multitasking
Call Me Busy
All Women Are Whores Part II
Television, Syphilis, and Cats!
Winning Gold Fucking Medals
The Subconscious Man Brain
Cross Dressing in Hollywood
Who’s Walking Who?
Take My Car…Please! No Wait Don’t
If Only Money Could be Made Out of Chocolate
Pharma-do or Pharma-don’t?
Mommy Dearest
The Internal Ridiculous Service
Now You’re Talking Double Team
Big Fat Potatoes
A Scorching Case of Bullshit
The Pregnant Brain
Crossing the Fucking Street
Battery. It’s Not Just for Men, but it Should Be.
Card Carrying Slut?
Fighting the Good Fight
Measure Up…Which Women Don’t.
Kate O’Beirne to Feminism: Fuck You!
Obvious Penis Envy
Memoirs of a Prostitute. She’s a Fucking Prostitute.
The Signs of Dumbness
How To Shut a Woman Up
A Very Special MABTW
There’s No Such Thing As a Free Lunch
The Saving Grace
Killing Me Softly
Men Have Bouncier Brains
The Ubermensch
The L Word
The Cow Says…
Pilot Error
The Proof is in the Penguins
MIT’s New Fall Courses: Prostitution 101
Drive on Thru to the Other Side
Women are Obsessed with Men Being Obsessed with Sex
Say Green. Greeeen!
Every Woman is a Cheating Whore
Cleanliness is Onto Manliness
It’s All Downhill From Here
The Never Ending Story Part 3
The Crappiest Vault in the World
Pay, Pump, and Go.
Donde Esta El Common Fucking Courtesy?
There Are No Good Ways to Skin a Cat
I Got a Rock.
Men. The Safe Sex Sex.
Thespianism and the “Female Orgasm”
Mr. Knight’s Shining Armour Provided By Botany 500
That’ll Still Look Hot When You’re 80.
I Want To Be A Crack Whore When I Grow Up!
Still. Don’t Leave The Lights On.
Does This Girlfriend Come with a Gift Receipt?
Fool Me Once, Shame on Me
One Small Step for Man, One Enormous Step Backwards for Women
Man’s Real Best Friend
This Steak Is Overly Chartreuse
The Big O
867-530…4?
Doctor? I Hardly Knew Her!
Women Would Vote for Hitler
You’re Not Pregnant? I Don’t Believe You
Keep The Camping To Purse Sales
One Cheeseburger, Please. Hold The Jibber Jabber.
Where’s Waldo’s Y Chromosome
Take Two Of These And Call Me Never
I’ll Take How To Fuck My Life Up For 1000, Alex.
The Second Step is Admitting It
Pets Are Not Children
The Verdict Is In…Or Is It?
Bobby Riggs: The Last Boy Scout
The Indianapolis 333 And A Third
If A Woman’s In The Ring, She Better Be Holding A Number
Are Women Smarter Than Horses?
There’s a Party in My Pants
Drunk Like a Fox
Pain in My Man Ass
Animal Farm
The Boob Tube
Marie Curie Deserves a Nobel Prize in Full of Shit
They Can Never Take Our Pimpdom
My Man Bag
Women Put the Guh in Google
Sports Are a Woman’s Best Friends. She Hates Them.
Vicarious Prostitute
Women Have Cooties
The Car Says…Vroom
Great. I Always Wanted A Mickey Mouse Tie
The Rule of Thumb
3…2…1…We Have Bullshit!
Civil Servants, Civil Safety Hazzards
Curse Words Make Sugar-Plum Fairies Cry
The F Word
Women Are Really Good At Being Sarcastic
Weddings are Golden Toilets…Flush
Public Sperking…I Mean Speaking
There Goes the Judge
Women: Nurturers or Totally Irresponsible Sadists?
Women Are As Cold As An Ice Cold Beer
Cinderblock is to Comfortable as Women are to Clever
Give a Moose a Muffin, Women are Inconsiderate
Women Are So Anti-Gay It’s Not Even Funny
Men Are Eco-friendlier
Father’s Day: Trick or Treat?
The Booby Trap’s Cousin
Women are Wild for Wombs!
Equal Pay for Equal Backstabbing
Women Traded Cooking and Cleaning for Blowjobs
Knight to Pawn Four. Check and Bullshit.
Nature’s Filibuster
Dress For Failure Doesn’t Rhyme
G.I. Joke
Women + Math = Disaster
One in Three Women is Illiterate
Steel Magnolias Can Eat Shit.
There Should be a Women’s Olympics for Bitching.
Let’s Call a Spade a Spatula. Just to be Silly.
Cooking Up Trouble
Women suck at computers
Oil on the Brain
I cannot tell a lie…because I’m a man.
Driving me nuts.
Why women hate sex.
Women can’t spell
Space…the Male Frontier
A woman president? More like, no fucking way.

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