True story. I was walking to the store yesterday and smoking a giant Cuban cigar — as I like to do on Tuesday’s. On the way, I passed a woman who was shouting at her dog. The dog had wandered away and was ferreting through someone’s trash.

Being the helpful man that I am, I tried to explain to the woman that the dog was probably not understanding her position on the matter and that this is one of the reasons the city magistrate considers it in everyone’s best interests for dogs to be kept on leashes — to deter that kind of chaos. Everyone got together and agreed it would make the city better.

The woman made an overly-crass comment that I’m not going to repeat here because of its hateful subject matter and stormed away. I found myself asking one question as she did.

Why do all women hate gay people so much?

Women sling insults of the homosexual variety at men with greater fervor and intensity than a rabid wolf. They practically spit all over themselves when they get a chance to snarl some anti-gay epithet at a man. It’s disgusting.

Also, when I say “gay people”, I obviously mean gay men. Gay women, or “lesbians” are not gay. They’re faking it. You can tell because they’re as loud as possible about their sexual proclivities at all times.

Just like the mischievous school boy who insists he doesn’t cheat at Monopoly is a liar and a cheater (good man-reasoning in Monopoly — a sure way to win!), “lesbians” are not actually gay. They just want attention, some way to define themselves that isn’t “failure”, or to get back at their parents for clothing and sheltering them for twenty-four years (usually more). I don’t know when these “lesbian’s” decided that proper parenting was a crime, but they did and we men have to deal with it.

Women claim that gay people are the greatest things since sliced bread. But listen to their reasons: because they shop and because they listen.

Listen? Women know as much about listening as an ass knows about playing a flute.

What women actually want to do with gay people (when they’re not shaming them behind their backs with radically anachronistic slanders) is use them as a dart board for an endless tirade of nonsense blubbering about men in general, and without ever having to return any kind of favor for this service — any kind.

That is monkey shit.

This entry was posted under Myths and Lores.