Do you know why wedding dresses are white? So the dishwasher will match the stove.

Back when women at least pretended to have class, a bachelorette party was something you might read about in a crudely published pornographic newsletter: a marauding gang of drunk sluts scavenging small towns for attention after midnight.

Prurient Fiction.

Imagine a bachelorette party in the context of a show like Leave it to Beaver. Are you going out with your fiancee this weekend Wally? No I’m not, Beave. Because she’s going out with 8 of her friends to get drunk as fuck, act like a whore, and cry, fight, and slobber over anything with a cock.

Bachelor parties are the epitome of a healthy human society. Bachelorette parties are the opposite. What a fucking surprise it is that bachelor parties are just like this website: by men, for men only. If any women want in, prepare to bare your tits. [Read more]

It’s rare that a man makes a mistake. I myself have never made one. However, last week I nearly did when I named Sarah Palin my Honorary Man of the Year. Clearly, the woman above deserves that title.

However, the woman above is ineligible. Because she’s my Honorary Man of the Decade. My perfect record continues. [Read more]

I’m going to tell you guys the first thing I thought when I was text messaged a picture of McCain’s new VP by a dozen fucking people at 8 in the morning.

I’d fuck her.

Meet the world’s first VPILF, fellows and gentlemen. A Vice President I’d like to fuck. And she will be Vice President because apparently McCain is the smartest fucking politician in history. Who knew!

I’m jumping on the VPILF train today by naming Miss Sarah Palin my Honorary Man of the Year. [Read more]