A reader, Joey, sent me the following question.

How’s it going, Mr. Masterson? Straight to my man point, what the hell is the deal with young women who say that they don’t care about looks and want to settle with a man who cares for them, loves the, etc? These are freakin’ 15-17, 18 year old girls talking. What the hell are they settling down from? They’re reaching the age where they practice whore-crafts like fucking and sucking. You get my point.

Of course I get your point. If I didn’t get your point from that well-laid mansplanation, then I would have to be a woman. And then what would I do with my penis?

Use it as an ATM I guess. That’s all women seem to know what to do with them. [Read more]

If I wrote a guide to life, it would like this:

Dick Masteron’s Guide to Life

1. Shut up.
2. Get the job done.

In the end, that’s why women are such failures. Step 1, shutting up, is an impossible hurdle for their overloaded female brains. Even if their grey matter wasn’t water-logged with puppies and posting cute actors on their fucking MySpace page, women still couldn’t shut the fuck up. They have far too many stupid things to say and a limited amount of years in which to say them. Women could quit even their lamest of day jobs and take pep pills until the Apocalypse, but they still wouldn’t have enough time to empty their heads of every dumb fuck thought that congealed between their ears.

Too bad.

Just like how even you as a man can’t count to 47 trillion. Even if you count really fast. At least I don’t think you can. That’s why men invented calculators. [Read more]

There’s nothing I like to see more than women proving men are better than women. It’s such a joy because women do it with the same level of class, tact, and subtlety they use in everything: not a goddamn bit.

The ultimate question was put to women recently: would you rather work for a man or some type of she-devil who resembles your mother only in body and never in tenderness, usefulness, or grace?

Oh wait, there is something I like to see more than women proving men are better than women. Ten hot babes in bikinis. Awesome. [Read more]

Women caused the war in Iraq. It’s been plain as day to me for a while now — because of my mantuition, but I didn’t want to drop that particular bomb up the ass of feminism because I hadn’t yet acquired the proof.

Someone call the CO. The proof has been acquired.

Just like all other wars, women caused the war in Iraq. [Read more]

I watched an episode of Jeopardy tonight and saw a woman completely embarrass herself in a national way with her womanly stupidity.

Typical. She didn’t even make it to Final Jeopardy because she fucked up all her money. What the hell kind of a way to play Jeopardy is that? Jesus.

I felt bad for her in a way, but I felt even worse for myself for being deprived an evening of mantertainment that only a cut-throat, three-way round of Jeopardy can provide. Watching Jeopardy when a woman is playing isn’t three-way or cut-throat at all. It’s just another ridiculous trouncing of women by men. That’s certainly not mantertaining. It’s just another day in a gender war where one side is armed only with obnoxious opinions and the other side discovered fire, tamed dogs, and invented birth control pills. [Read more]