In the building phase, I tentatively called this article, “Men Are Better Than Women At Being Nerds.” That’s true on its own, but what I’m going to talk about here is so much bigger and more bombastic I’ve decided to up the ante.

All women are whores. I know it and you know it, and now nerds do too. [Read more]

Women can’t do a lot of things in this man-world. Some man once wrote a song about that in the 40’s or 50’s or some other such man year. The lyrics said:

“It’s a man’s world, but it wouldn’t be nothing without a woman or a girl.” -James Brown

Obviously that was written during a time when women knew how to shut their fucking mouths when they don’t know what they’re talking about: always. The world may be nothing without a bunch of women and girls around fucking up, but I’ll tell you something else. With them around the world is one enormous run-on paragraph.

Men are better than women at using the Enter key. [Read more]

Here’s one of my least favorite Shit-A-Myths. It’s so sneaky and seemingly fucking harmless, I don’t think there’s a man on Earth who hasn’t said it without a second thought.

“Men are big and ugly while women are graceful, beautiful, and attractive.”

Women are none of those things. Women are clumsy, monkey-lipped, and gross. [Read more]

NOW, the National Organization for Women, turned 40 on Tuesday. If NOW is anything like regular women (and it is because it’s completely fucking worthless — that’s clue number one) it means NOW spent today recovering from a dozen Cosmopolitans and half a dozen rejections from local 25 year olds.

Guess whose bed NOW sneaked out of at about 8:15 this morning. That’s right; your best friend’s. [Read more]

This is a very important and very special MenAreBetterThanWomen because it’s a treatise on my favourite topic: marriage. The conclusion is this:

Do not get married!

Do not do it now. Do not do it later. Do not do it for looks. Do not do it for money. Do not do it for sex. Do not do it because people want you to. Do not do it because a woman wants you to. Do not do it because The Bible says to do it. Do not do it to have children. Do not do it for tax purposes. And especially — the most important reason of all reasons every thrown into a reason oven and baked on Man degrees for a day and a half — do not get fucking married for love! [Read more]

Can I ask a serious question here? How the fuck are women supposed to be equal to men when they can’t harness the communication medium of the 21st century. The typed fucking word?

They can’t. Women can’t email for shit, they can’t do the text messaging each other on the computer thing for shit (I don’t know what that’s called because I’m a man), and they can’t do the text messaging each other on the phone for shit (same reason).

That’s why they do all three of those all the fucking time. They can’t get it right the first time. [Read more]

Did you know beer is from another culture? It’s true. It’s either German or Sumerian. I don’t know off the top of my head and I don’t want to look it up because that’s a huge loss of my fucking Man Points.

Do you know what else is from other cultures? Hot ladies. I’ll be damned if those aren’t two things that men don’t appreciate in spades.

That’s a triple negative, and that’s manly. Big time. [Read more]

Men are better than women at looking up.

It’s true; and I don’t mean men are better than women at being optimistic or at setting pie in the sky goals for themselves. Everyone knows that already. If women were in charge of setting goals for themselves and humanity we’d all be sitting in trees flinging shit at each other.

Actually, it wouldn’t take much for today’s modern woman to resort to that. They already go to the bathroom in packs. [Read more]