Women love attention almost as much as they love money. That’s because money and attention are the same thing. Women are simple like that. Usually things they like are always actually the same thing. In this case, you can trade both money and attention for sex. Same thing.

By extension women also love stalkers, babies, and black eyes. They’re all just heaps more attention — another shovel of shit on the compost pile of a woman’s life. Have you ever seen a group of women at a wedding having a Cry-Off? That’s what I call the game women play where they see who can get more emotional over some stupid bullshit.

It doesn’t matter who wins. What’s important is who loses. And that’s you. [Read more]

These questions were sent to me by rio, a woman. It is my hope that fielding these woman-questions will dissuade women from trouncing all over this site like they’re welcome. They’re not. Perhaps they will find some outlet in simply reading and re-reading these questions. Or perhaps by making up their own questions and then reading my answers in order, like children with painting by numbers activity books. [Read more]

Women are forbidden from this entire site. They’re forbidden from reading the articles here. They’re forbidden from commenting here. And most of all, they are forbidden from sending me bitchy emails about either of those rules.

So why the fuck do they?

The reason why they’re forbidden is simple: women do not have the man-brain capacity to understand the truth, which is what this site is. Trying to fit the answers these articles contain into a woman’s head is like trying to put ten pounds of shit in a one pound bag. You just end up breaking the poor, pretty little bag and getting shit all over the place. [Read more]

Myth: Men are blundering incompetent jackasses.

If you’re some kind of alien and you watch a lot of television (or even a little bit of television), you’ll be presented with one thing: men are lazy idiots who can’t get anything right the first time unless they’re gay — and the only way they get to have sex is with money.

The assumption there is also that you’re of an alien species that doesn’t have gender. If you did, you would already know that women, no matter what the species, are nature’s cruel joke on man. [Read more]

Is it so fucking crazy to have some expectations of your spouse? Or is that the pedophilia of the twenty-first century?

Actually, I guess it is. That explains why so many women-teachers are getting away with molesting thirteen year olds. Women molest kids. Women have all kinds of crazy expectations from their spouses.

Apparently, they’re one in the same. [Read more]

Women have to work extra hard to succeed at anything.

Myth! In actuality, women simply have to show up to be successful. Take swimsuit models. That’s about the most important and meaningful job a woman can ever hope to have or aspire to. Swimsuit models don’t have to fucking do anything but show up and let a man take their pictures.

That’s the real work in modeling of course: the picture taking. The way you can tell is by looking at all the jobs in a photography session and seeing which ones men do. This rule can be applied universally. [Read more]