Did you know that a staggering 7% of the top grossing 200 films of 2005 were directed by women? I was shocked as well, but then I remembered that on a slow weekend in summer when it’s hot outside just about everywhere on Earth, even seeing a miserable piece of woman-directed shit is better than sitting around and listening to the house-marm gab about nothing.

Perhaps we’re the lucky men. Perhaps someday women will forget their manners even during film and theatres will sound like hair salons or bird sanctuaries. Then again maybe that kind of shit will actually lower the price of a ticket.

That’s a man for you: always looking on the bright side. [Read more]

Myself and every other man on Earth have been saying it for years: alimony is fucked — and it’s extremely sexist.

But wait, what about this?

Did you know you’re liable for child support if you knock some slut up who lies about being on the pill and then doesn’t want to have an abortion because of some ridiculous shit like she suddenly has “principles” or because her mother didn’t abort her? Well you are liable for that cash cow and it’s the biggest croc of shit and injustice that could ever be imagined. [Read more]

Women have no fear of anything.

They have no fear of any shit breaking because some man will always fix it in a charming attempt to fuck them — which usually works. They have no fear of losing their jobs because they don’t ever support themselves anyway. Women are like shrieking monkeys jumping like silly jackasses from tree to tree in a forest of men with big burly arms and deep pockets.

Women especially have no fear of saying or doing anything stupid. You really want to do something for women? Next time you hear one acting stupid, just knock the shit out of her. [Read more]

There’s a little court in America called the Supreme Court. For the most part, it is taken quite seriously. If courts were road construction, then the Supreme Court would be a collapsed freeway on top of a volcano. In other words, if you fuck up at the SC, then you’re fucked, pal. Unless you have some pull with God Himself, you just got busted for tacit collusion, plagiarism, or kiddie porn — whatever’s your poison, and now you are taking your man-ass to prison.

A recent trend in America has been to get women the fuck off this Supreme of Courts. That is because women have donkey brains and the attention span of mud. It’s also because women fall asleep during court. [Read more]

There’s a figurative “umbrella” reason that men are better than women. It’s because men are men and therefore have brains and balls and everything else that makes a man-cog work properly in the giant cosmic machine of progress. Women have only glitter and sugar for brains and other manners of shit that rot your teeth.

There’s also a literal “umbrella” reason men are better than women, and that is an actual umbrella that you hold over your head when it rains — unless you’re a woman that is. If you’re a woman, you also use an umbrella to poke everyone over 5’8″ in their goddamn eyes. [Read more]

Hey here’s a bunch of bullshit:

Men are good at focusing. Women are good at multitasking.

I had to break that woman-maxim into two sentences because not even my mighty man brain could process the fucked up logic there. It’s like trying to dump a bowl of Mueselix into a state of the art DVD player.

Women are shit at doing things — and definitely not as good as men at anything. So we’re supposed to believe that if they do a shitload of things they’re not very good at all at the same time, women suddenly turn into a one-man band with the cymbals between their legs?

Fuck you. [Read more]