If women could be worst at anything (and they can’t because each new thing they do or repeat doing they are the new worst at) it would be measuring. Women are so bad at it, they couldn’t measure a ruler. That’s why if you ask a woman how big some random size is, she’ll either present her forearm or point to a football field. It makes absolutely no fucking difference what you asked.

I mean, six inches is huge, but not that huge. [Read more]

Not everyone in the world can be a Cary Grant or a Carey Elwis — a Jim Carrey? No, this finely tuned machine man invented and named Civilization takes gears of grit and wear as well. It takes men who look like they’ve been punched in the face or fell down a tree into a wheelbarrow full of pool balls. It takes ugly.

It happens, and when it does we men don’t care about it. We don’t care about it so much that women don’t care about it either. Look at Vigo Mortensen. Women love him and he’s ugly as shit.

It’s too bad no women can say the same. [Read more]

If you want to experience the pain in the ass of a woman using your bathroom, just take a bucket of water and throw it all the fuck over the place. Then drag a wet towel all over your house.

What the fuck is women’s problem? How can they remember to close the curtain every single fucking time they take their clothes off, but not when it means turning my bathroom into Crocodile Mile. [Read more]

You know the most recent extremely popular movie rife with pandering and self-righteous entitlement bullshit that makes me fucking sick — otherwise known as a “Chick Flick”? It’s about an Asian prostitute living every woman’s dream of suffering the shame and indignity of being labeled a whore (for money and not for a house), but not actually having to fuck for her stripes.

Yea. Since you’re all men, I’m going to assume you haven’t seen Memoirs of a Geisha — just like I haven’t. That would be a huge loss of Man Points. My mother paraphrased it to me though. [Read more]

Astrology is one of the dumbest and most worthless things in the world.

Astrology is so dumb, I don’t think a man could even come up with something dumber. That’s because ten thousand years ago, or whenever it was that astrology was crapped out, a man sat down and said, “What’s the dumbest thing that could possibly be. Eureka! Astrology!”

Men invented it as a joke, and men are better than women at it.

[Read more]